Oh. My. Good. God.

Oh my god. I am literally the OLDEST student at "summer school". The class comprised of 10-12 students of which there was 1 undergraduate, 1 graduate student, me and high school students, including juniors - which roughly means the equivalent of FORM 4. WTF.

First of all, I wasn't terribly nervous going in. I mean. I'm a adult. I draw a salary. I own an apartment. I have a driving license. I have my own netflix account. Seriously - I eat high school students for breakfast.

This lasted for all of 5 minutes during class, at which point in time my professor saw it fit to ask an open question around "Give me your thoughts on Water; Properties, Processes, Projects and Problems". My first thought was - that is not MECE.

Then, all this high school studies start shouting out random words like "Solvents" and "Molecules" and "Greenhouse Gas" and "Water is the only substance that exists in all three states (gas, liquid and solid) at temperatures at which human can exist". My contribution - because you get graded on something called Class Participation - was "Water Treatment". When that brain fart left my mouth, I wanted to crawl under the desk and die.

I was also like OMFG - I need to get the fuck out of here, because all these people are Overachieving Monsters. There was a guy in front of me taking copious notes on his Mac. I mean WHAT NOTES WERE THERE TO TAKE? The professor was showing us PICTURES.

Then we had the Spotlight Moment, where they asked everyone to go around to introduce themselves. I was the last. After 11 people talking about how they are seniors and juniors in high school who really wanted to study water because they are so passionate about the environment. I introduced myself as the "Oldest Student in Class" who thought this was the "Most interesting course on the summer list". This great show of wittiness was met with dead silence.

***
In any case, it has been great so far. I have cycled so much that my ass hurts. Now time to huddle under the covers and watch ANOTHER SEASON OF HERCULE POIROT.

Best holiday ever

The mysterious uncle

My uncle passed away. To my knowledge, he was very old. I have never met this man, as he left for Taiwan before I was born, and mysteriously came back a few years ago for reasons unknown to me. My mother claims I have met that "side of the family" - she says it in the hushed tones when you talk about things you would rather not have to talk about. It is all very intriguing and mysterious to me and leads me to think - 'This Is A Man Who Had An Exciting Life'.

In true family form, the information of his passing came, and very quickly descended into the following:

1. A heated phone argument with mother about whether to fly or take a bus back to Penang due to "flying being very expensive", apparent "flight phobias", "nobody will pick us up from the airport", "cannot find IC, so cannot book flights". This is a debate between a 2 hour end to end journey by flight, and 5 hour end to end journey by bus. Why.

2. Me and father not allowed to go, as someone needs to stay behind to feed the dogs who "will die if they are not fed" followed by a detailed explanation of how the dogs need to be fed "two tins of the biscuits in big bag, mixed with half tin of the canned food, heated. No feeding them together because the fat one will steal everybody's food". It's true - the fat one is sneaky that way - I find the argument logically sound, but disproportionate to the context.

3. I give up and call my father to "sort this out".

4. Sanity prevails. I am allowed to book flights. Father and I are allowed to go for day trip and dogs will not die as they will be fed and watered in the morning and we will be back in the evening.

5. A flurry of whatsapp messages with cousin about who is going back to Penang (everybody!) and where we will eat (everywhere!). A voice in my brain asks myself if such glee is appropriate for a funeral and is promptly ignored

6. A flurry of whatsapp messages with my brother saying he would like to send flowers. Mother shuts that shit down. She says "Send money. We are not white people". I secretly message cousin to give me the address of funeral as I remember funeral parlors without flowers being quite sad.

7. I come home early thinking my mother may need someone to be around in case... Mother eyes me suspiciously as I sneak in at 130PM; "Why are you home early?" She seems fine, and more anxious about me being home early than her brother having just passed away. I do not belabor the point.

That's me day.

The uncle mystery

Today I heard that my uncle has passed away. He was the eldest of seven children, my mother's brother. He is a mystery to me, having never met him my entire life. He left before I was born to Taiwan, and came back not too many years ago. And now he is gone.

It started with a short curt message on his demise, and quickly transitioned to:

1. Irrational arguments about taking the bus versus plane on account of planes being "very expensive", aunts having "plane phobias" and "nobody can pick us up from the airport"